


Sincerely

by Miraphina Atherton (mew_tsubaki)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/F, Marauders' Era, have some feels, marlene speaking from the beyond the brave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 20:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19384222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mew_tsubaki/pseuds/Miraphina%20Atherton
Summary: Because they all lost something in that war. Marlene just happened to lose two things.





	Sincerely

**Author's Note:**

> The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not to me. Read, review, and enjoy!

_Hey, Dorcas…_

_Remember that time when we met? It wasn't even on the train, like all the others. You weren't even in my boat on the ride up to the castle. We didn't catch each other's gaze before the doors to the Great Hall. No, good ol' Dorcas Meadowes stumbled upon getting out of her boat when we touched solid ground again._

_You grabbed my arm to steady yourself, said your thanks, we exchanged first names, and that was it for about a good fifteen minutes. I didn't remember your name until you were Sorted into Gryffindor, and I doubt you recalled mine until the same time. But, even then, we weren't bosom buddies. We became sort-of friends, and we occasionally shared class notes._

_Slowly, but surely, though, we were getting closer. It was the strangest thing, because I'd tell you what was on my mind and you'd either nod or shake your head. Half the time, it elicited some remark from you that turned into a thoughtful conversation between us. I didn't know it then, but you were my intellectual equal…_

_Okay, that's a lie. I considered it, but the years that passed made me wonder if I could be considered your intellectual equal. Speaking with you sometimes left me reeling._

_Oh, I eventually figured that out. I know you did, too—you always do. Nothing stays unsolved for you. You were a little similar to Lupin in that way, with your nose in your books and an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. But you aren't him; you're kinder and softer and so bloody sweet it makes me sick to think of candy._

_But that afternoon, in the library? When I was chagrined, trying to find the appropriate book for Slughorn's essay? You came over and drifted your fingers across titles until you found the right one, and, in your sweet yet slightly bullheaded way, you grabbed my fingers and placed them over the book's spine. Anyone else would've just pulled the book and passed it to me. You—you desired contact with me. You always desired some response from me._

_It's why you'd never given up on calling me "Lena," wasn't it? Of course it was._

_It hadn't been easy after that. The whole "love at first witch" thing… We were mates and roommates and, though I liked Mary and Alice and was close to Lily, there was always more to me and you. It took Lily raising a few eyebrows at us until she coughed and loudly suggested that she and the other two study in some place besides the dormitory. I don't know if Alice got it and Mary never did, bless her spacey heart, but that did the trick. I finally stopped biting my lip, I twirled a blond lock of mine out of my eyes, and I looked at you._

_If looks could kill…ah, looks did quite the opposite for us._

_The rest is history. The "long nights studying at the library," the need to finish supper early, the hopes that you'd be Head Girl or a prefect so we could have more time to ourselves…_

_Yeah, war ends those kinds of things._

_But, the thing was, war almost started everything for us. Because of the war, we told our families about us, we set out to become Aurors, we joined the Order of the Phoenix, we finally had that time we had wanted so badly. Granted, I would've liked more missions with you, but there_ _was_ _a war to be won._

_So tell me, did we win?_

_Because I can't see everything up here in…heaven, I guess you'd call it. I can't always watch over you. Contrary to some Muggle beliefs, you don't necessarily become a…whatsit…an angel when you die. You can sit back and watch much of what goes on down below, but you can't see everything._

_So tell me, was my life a helpful sacrifice? Were the tears you shed justified in the end? Did you go on to finish your Auror training without me?_

_I haven't seen you down there in a while. I've been wondering where you are, and I would give anything to see that you were all right, Dor. So please, please get this note in your dreams. I'm so afraid that when I go wandering…here, "upstairs," that…that I'm going to find you. Because finding you would be an accursed thing—just because I want you again doesn't mean it's right that you had to leave your mortal life behind._

_…but I want to see you again, I do. Every moment of every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month, year, decade, centennial, millennia—I'd like to be the "bad boy" witch again who heartily seized that moment Lily gave us in fifth year._

_But if I see you, I don't know if I'll cry out of guilt or out of relief. Oh, Dorcas, look at what you've done to me. I think this is what they mean by loving someone "too much."_

_Sincerely,_

_Your Lena_

_P.S.—I'll keep my eye out for you, luv. But if you are here, don't make me wait any longer than I have to._

**Author's Note:**

> :') This was sooo bittersweet…! This just came out much better than the looong oneshot I have planned and started for them. I think it's an interesting insight to Marlene's life—because she lost her life and Dorcas in the war. …but I doubted she'd realize Dorcas would be joining her not too long after. -.- However, the oneshot I'm working on for them will be much happier! So please look forward to it!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please review!
> 
> -mew-tsubaki :')
> 
> 2017 note: Aww, deffo bittersweet, as my 2011 A/N mentioned. *lol* I still have that other oneshot to finish for them… orz But! I like this style. It's not the first time I've done a letter-style fic, but it's quite fun—though not something I'd do often, lest the effect lessen. :O


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